Two Frequent Questions About Family Nudity

Question 1

We have two kids, a boy and a girl. How do I make our children comfortable with nudity?

Our Answer:

Well as a mom with three nudist daughters myself… I really don’t see what the issue is with these kinds of things. I see so many parents discovering nudism when their children are 8,9,10 15 or whatever the case maybe. And wondering how to make their children comfortable. Why are they uncomfortable in the first place? If YOU raised them so far, what have YOU done to give them negative feelings about nudity. I hold firm to the believe that if you MAINTAIN the same attitudes about home nudity ALL ALONG THE WAY, you will have very few issues to deal with in this regard as your children get older.

If YOU as a parent, shy away from making living nude then your children will emulate that behavior. You cannot expect children to be comfortable with nudity, if you yourself, are an on and off nudist.

It amazes me how many people fall into this category. I also don’t understand all of those who say things such as Well, we used to be able to go nude where we lived before, but now we can’t Why not? Did you move into a house made of glass clearly visible from the street?

The simple answer is: Don't overcomplicate it! Lead by example and let the children set the pace. If everyone is comfortable being nude at home, esptablish ground rules about drapes being open or shut, and advanced warnings to give when other neighborhood kids come to visit (NEVER be nude in from of other children without their parent's expressed written permission!)

If you and your wife want to introduce the kids to the lifestyle you already enjoy together, start by having your wife leave the bathroom door ajar, going from the bathroom to the bedroom nude and changing in the open. The kids acclaimate far better when mom does this instead of dad.

Again, don’t over think the nudity. What will she think? Will she get shocked, upset? Will it mess up her personal growth and emotional development?" As a result many people jump in and out, sending the family members a mixed message; one of insecurity. A gradual, yet consistent approach will give you plenty of time and opportunity to gauge the child's response to nudity at home. For example, there should be no outright walking around the house nude until the kids get used to seeing their mom. Once your wife starts doing it more often, one child or the other will eventually bring it up on thier own if they have a problem with it.)

Before long, they may start making those short steps from the bathroom to the bedroom without clothes themselves, or else they will sleep nude or be nude in their own rooms to try it out. Once this basic approach has become a common routine, you can take it up a notch further by being nude more and more frequently and for longer periods of time. After awhile, it may became quite common for them to be casually nude around each other and elsewhere in the house and it will all seem quite normal.

Or not. Just make sure you always leave the option open for your daughter; but don't be deterred if she doesn't follow. A friend of mine took the same path: she started sleeping nude and sunbathing nude in her backyard by herself, when she tought nobody was home. Eventually, her daughter got used to it and mom was able to join her, then the rest of the family. But it took a few years. In another family I know, the two teenage girls grew up as nudists and really enjoyed their summers at a local nudist resort. But come every August, they put back on their bathing suits so they could acquire tan lines in order to avoid suspicion among their friends when they returned to school and had to take gym showers.

Unfortunately, as an age group, American teenagers are about the most prudish (or maybe body self-conscious) group on the planet. About everything. I know one couple who brought their boys up nude but now that the boys are in their mid teens , they really don't want to go with the parents to the naturist beach. But then, they don’t really want to go with their parents anywhere.

Often they will not want to join because it is not the teen IN thing to do. They's rather hang out in the mall, or sit in front of the computer talking to Facebook friends. Perhaps they are also afraid of the Big Secret getting out at school and having to face the cruel and ignorant cat-calls of the other students and non-nudist friends. Others have grown up at nudist parks with friends their own age there whom they enjoy and do not want to lose. Kids are really good about keeping quiet about their nudist lifestyle to outsiders if they choose to do so (as do many of the parents!)

She may come back to it later on her own around age 20 bringing in tow a girl friend or two who are curious and who have told their parents they were going to the beach.) That little white lie happens a lot with adults also.

The most important thing you can do is make social nudity a positive experience for your children, then as they grow just let them choose and respect that choice.

Jenn

Question 2

What do I do when my nudist tween starts to become a Young Lady?

Our Answer:

The tween-to-teen years are always hard on kids, especially the girls, who up until now have enjoyed social nudity with their families and friends. The key to survival — kids and parents — is tolerance and understanding. Her responses to just about anything — homework, nudity, boys, phase of the moon — may well be marked by mood swings and so on. The most important thing you can do is to be there for her. Our approach was to make sure that she understands that it’s her choice and that you will love her and support her always. Open and frank discussions about changing bodies are helpful, and we like to think our daughter was much better adjusted by having seen unclad adults routinely and realizing that sex and sexual maturity are separate from nudity.

If she does decide to go fully nude, you will need to help her with the delicate aspects of menstruation. You’ll have to help her anyway of course, but the emphasis on normal physiology while nude can be complex. The idea that it is normal and there is nothing to hide is important, but how you manage nudity in the context of normal menses is also important.

The development of pubic hair can also be discomforting to young women and exposure can seem awkward. If you shave, there will be questions from her. One approach is to leave everything natural. Another is to point out that removal of hair can simplify management of the sweat glands and the odors that are associated with sexual maturation. Most important, I think, is that you and your husband have a common position of loving her no matter what she does and a common example of the range of appearances and behaviors that are appropriate in your home. A firm chat with the young men at home — especially the older leader — is also helpful to explain from a mom perspective what your daughter is about to go through. The boy(s) should be cautioned NOT to say anything about their sister’s changing body unless she brings it up, as little unsolicited comments and asides can easily undermine a girls’ self-body image. (Girls should also be cautioned to extend the same courtesy to her brother(s) entering puberty.

Teaching young women to care for their bodies and be proud of their health is extremely important in my view, and comfort with nudity — both yours and hers — can go a long way in this regard.

Suzi