By Marc W. and Gary M.
Marc, Sonya, Gary and Patty decided to caravan from Ventura county down to DeAnza Springs for the 4-day Western Gathering last summer. We met at Gary’s house at the appointed time and discussed the route we would take, we planned rest stops and we exchanged walkie-talkies to ensure communication along the way. Gary, to his credit, even brought extra batteries for the radios. We finished the loading process and decided Gary would take the lead and Marc would follow.
(BAAAAAD MISTAKE)! Our plan lasted about 100 yards. Here, the story changes, depending on who is telling the tale.
Gary’s Version:
I drove out first and Marc fell behind me out of sight as I entered the freeway. Not to worry, I slowed down and waited for him to catch up.
About a minute later a van passed me very quickly. The couple in the front looked like Marc and Sonya, so I sped up to follow. Soon he was going about 75 and it was difficult to stay with him as he changed from lane to lane. “Why is he going so fast? I can hardly keep up!” I cried out loud. “What’s wrong with him?” Patty got onto the walkie-talkie yelling “Marc! Marc! Slow down! Hello? Hello?” but we got no answer.
We stayed right behind him, risking a speeding ticket, for about 20 miles through Simi Valley and across the northern San Fernando Valley.
As we approached the 118 and 405/San Diego interchange he suddenly veered across three lanes of traffic and took the turnoff to go south, which was not the direction we had discussed. I stayed with him and yelled into the walkie-talkie, “Marc, you moron! That’s the wrong way! Where are you going? Marc? Marc!” No answer. Heading south on the 405, he cut across all lanes of traffic, got into the diamond (high-occupancy) lane and sped off.
I couldn’t keep up so I watched him drive out of sight. Periodically I would try the walkie-talkie to see if I could raise him, but to no avail.
We drove the next four hours to De Anza alone, stopping for lunch and for gas along the way, and we got there about 4:30 in the afternoon.
Marc’s Version:
Let me preface this part of the story by saying don’t ever let Gary lead your caravan. For all the things he can do with greatness, leading a caravan AIN’T one of them. If he slowed down it was from 80 to 75 and I was not driving a van, I had my pickup.
When Sonya and I pulled out of Gary’s driveway, Gary was turning right at the stop sign. When we reached the stop sign he was turning left at the second stop sign. By the time we reached the second stop sign, he was approaching the on-ramp to the 118 freeway. My only hope was for him to catch a red light but alas it was not to be. We hit the freeway just in time to catch our last glimpse of Mr. Mussell heading off into the sunset. I looked at Sonya and said, “No problem, we’ve got radios. Try and call them”. No answer. So I thought maybe they didn’t turn them on yet, we’ll try again later. Meanwhile I am just getting up to my usual 72 mph cruising speed figuring I will catch up to Gary. We tried the radio again after a few miles to know avail. (The radios have a range of about ½ mile.)
Into the San Fernando Valley we went, still no Gary. By now we’re using Gary’s terminology speaking into the radio,”Gary..Patty…Moron!” as well as other choice phrases come to mind. “Where are those guys?” Needless to say we followed our intended path to DeAnza checking pull-off areas, (we knew he would stop to stretch and rest) and trying to raise him on the radio at different intervals. Then I had the idea to call his cell phone. (I didn’t know he was doing 90 down the wrong freeway, scaring the bejesus out of some poor citizen he was following who was also doing 90 to get away from him! We could not get him on the cell phone which we found out later was in the back of his SUV, turned off. (Good place for it! Glad the hatch didn’t fly open, but I digress.) WE stopped about an hour for lunch and gas in Alpine 25 miles or so out of San Diego and continued on to De Anza. Upon arrival we checked in and found that Gary and Patty hadn’t arrived yet. We took a tour, found a camp area and went back into the clubhouse where there stood “Parnelli” Gary and his accomplice.
Gary replies:
As we were registering at the DeAnza office, Marc and Sonya walked in. All four of us said practically in unison, “What happened to you!!!??”
It seems that they had gotten to DeAnza an hour earlier. We each related our version of the trip down including thought patterns and admonishments when I realized I HAD BEEN FOLLOWING THE WRONG CAR! We had a good laugh and we wondered what must have been going through that other driver’s mind as he saw a stranger (me) following him closely at high speed for 20 miles, unable to shake me. He must have felt a great relief having lost me after that freeway chase, and may wonder still who that maniac was that was following him down the road.
Ah, but the story isn’t over yet….
Marc continues:
When we left DeAnza four days later, Gary and I decided to stop at the Swallows Park on the way back to Los Angeles. I told Gary there was no way he was leading caravan this time! Tony decided to come along, following in his car. So the three cars drove the 25 miles back toward San Diego, watching speeds, rearview mirrors, and staying within view of each other. Tony and I reached the off-ramp without incident; Gary however wasn’t as fortunate.
Gary continues:
As I turned left from the freeway offramp onto the main street below, I felt the load shift in the back of my van, and then there was a sudden “thump.” I looked in my rear view mirror and to my horror I saw all our luggage, card table and chairs, and club papers on the road behind me. Somehow the rear hatch door had come open and everything had spilled out!
We quickly stopped and ran back to retrieve what we could before traffic could run over and destroy our stuff. Tony, who was driving behind me, stopped also and joined Patty and me in a mad scramble to pick things up. Marc, who was driving ahead, continued around a curve unaware of the crisis we were having. It took about 10 minutes but we got almost everything off the road with minimal damage. Another couple stopped to help us, and when they looked at the nudist literature that we were picking up they laughed. Tony, ever the Marketer, offered them some of it to read.
Marc interjects:
Once I had gotten around the curve I slowed and pulled over waiting for them to catch up. After 5 minutes I figured something was wrong and turned back to find them. As I made another U turn and pulled off the road behind them I saw them just finishing the cleanup and carefully checking the hatch on Gary’s SUV.
Gary replies:
I figured he was just getting his revenge for the previous adventure. Anyway, we got to Swallows and had a reasonably uneventful trip the rest of the way home. But Marc has resolved not to let me lead a car caravan (EVER!) And he also said he’d check my rear hatch door himself if we ever try this again.
In summary, here are Marc’s rules for car-caravaning:
1. Discuss routes and speeds...and stick to them!
2. Plan stops along the way...and stop there!
3. Be able to communicate (cell phone, radios, lights, horn, ------rocks!)
4. If you are in the lead, start out slow, check rear view mirrors, make sure everyone is with you.
5. If you are following, keep the one in front and behind you in sight.
6. Check Gary's rear hatch yourself (and lock it) before you let him join your car caravan.
7. Most important of all: Don’t ever let Gary lead!
