First of all I can’t believe I’m actually writing about this topic, but Ms. Heir-head has once again managed to stretch her 15-minutes of overrated fame beyond all necessary reason and made Her Blondness impossible to ignore.

Yes, Paris Hilton has done it again, this time by appearing in a 30-second commercial in a stringy swimsuit gyrating seductively over a black Bentley, while eating an overpriced hamburger. In so doing she has no only dangerously raised the blood pressure of every 19-25 year old male on the west coast (no one east of the Rocky Mountains has seen the commercial directly except on Fox News) but she has also caused a howl of protest by the watchdog Parent’s Television Council (PTC), the moral guardians of our airwaves.

Set to the song "I Love Paris in the Springtime," the 30-second spot shows Hilton washing the car "with hoses shooting everywhere and her soaping everything up," said a spokesperson for the ad agency that created the spot. Touting the BBQ Six Dollar Burger, it plays off her catch phrase, "That's hot."

The 60-second extended version (as if we needed to linger any longer on this) that claims to be “too spicy for television” can be found at http://www.spicyparis.com/paris.html. It uses a sultrier soundtrack, and there isn’t a hamburger in sight until the very end. A spokesperson for Carl's Jr. reported the website crashed several times over the Memorial weekend – once for four hours – due to the hormonal onslaught of young male eyeballs.

All this would be humorous were it not for our recent memories of Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” 16 months ago, and the conservative backlash that ensued. "This commercial is basically soft-core porn," said Melissa Caldwell, research director for the PTC. "The way she moves, the way she puts her finger in her mouth -- it's very suggestive and very titillating." The Los Angeles-based advocacy group plans to mobilize its more than 1 million members (note: its true membership numbers cannot be verified) to contact the restaurant chain and voice their displeasure.

The Georgia branch of PTC announced on its web site that it plans to petition the FCC to make Carl's Jr. remove the ad. It also advocates a boycott of Hardee’s, the corporation’s east coast hamburger chain that carries the same menu. A similar ad with Hilton for the Hardee's burger is expected to air next month.

The PTC's main objection is that unlike a television program, parents have no way of knowing when the Paris Hilton Spicy Burger ad is going to appear on TV, and cannot steer their children away from it. Since May 19, the ad has run during sports programs, on ABC's "Desperate Housewives" finale Sunday and on the season-ending episodes of Fox's "The O.C." and NBC's "The Apprentice."

The chain's CEO Andy Puzder responded to the PTC by saying they should "get a life." He made no apology for the ad, which some analysts expect to bring in many extra millions in sales to Carl’s over the summer months. "This isn't Janet Jackson," said Andy Puzder -- there is no nipple in this. There is no nudity, there is no sex acts -- it's a beautiful model in a swimsuit washing a car." Puzder says he has shown the ad to his three children, ages 12, 9 and 7, and they have shown no signs of being corrupted. "Maybe people are excited because it's Paris Hilton, but there are far worse things on television that these groups should be worried about," Puzder said.

But the PTC says it has a problem with the context and the content of the ad, not the personalities involved. Caldwell says that because the ad is airing during sports programs, and FOX's "OC", which are heavily watched by teens, it promotes sexuality to an audience that might not be ready for it. "It's difficult to gauge how children are going to react to this," Caldwell said.

Many people think Hilton is dumber than a box of rocks. But she's not. She's manipulating the system as good as any con artist. The more Fox TV and the PTC protest her shenanigans, the richer she'll get. If you don't like the commercial, then don’t buy the burger. Right now, Carl’s should be sending Fox News a big thank you for all the free publicity. Just don’t use this as another excuse to mess with my freedom to watch what I want (or not) on my own TV. I'm changing channels now (the commercial is starting...)